I want to address the culture of parental judgment I feel is growing among parents, particularly (I am sad to say) mums. We are all essentially making it up as we go along on this crazy ride that is parenthood and doing what is best for us and our kids, there is no right and wrong. Judging another mums parenting choices is pointless, destructive and I can only determine that individuals use judgment to make themselves feel more secure in the choices they themselves have made.
There are of course the all time favorite subjects such as breastfeeding vs bottle feeding or working vs staying at home, but I have decided to share a few of the alternative scenarios in which either my friends or myself have suffered sarcy comments or judgmental looks.
- Appearance – You cannot win here, we are all doomed. Mums are criticised for looking unsightly if we dare to venture out in public in scruffs and no makeup after an often traumatic day or an all nighter with a screaming baby born of satan. Sometimes, there is nor the time or energy to be arsed! However, comments are also made about mums who look groomed, fashionable or dare I say it attractive; as it is deemed that we must be abononing our children by caring about our appearance. Celebraties like Kim Kardasian get slated in the media and online for dressing too sexy as a mum! Don’t get me wrong we all have our different styles but if this woman enjoyed wapping her boobs out in revealing outfits before having a child and was applauded for it why should that change because she is now a mother?! Women do not become asexual mothering robots as soon as baby pops out.
- Dramatic Scenes – Why do our little angels always have their worse breakdowns in public? One of my son Jack’s all time classics from his Greatest Hits of ‘Losing My Shit’ was in a packed softplay when he didn’t want to leave and he had a 40 minute screaming/ head banging session. I was of course by myself and during such a traumatic event was thrilled to see another mum look over tut and roll her eyes at her friend…thanks love. Lets face it as much as we love our own little monsters other peoples kids can be incredibly irratating but the reality is we don’t know the full picture and we have all been there so how about a bit of support?
- Fussy Eaters – Myself and my hubby eat just about anything and everything, we love food! I was guilty of assuming fussy eaters were a result of fussy or lazy parents. When it came to weaning Jack I was taught a serious life lesson in humility. It was a long drawn out battle getting Jack to eat food, let alone a variety of it. I would spend hours in the kitchen blending organic food, tried baby led weaning; everything and the only thing we could get him to eat was HIPP organic packet stuff. At 2 years old he wouldn’t eat mashed potato, pasta or even a sandwich; only toast. After coming up with a game plan and sticking with it through endless amounts of tea time tantrums we finally have a little boy who eats a huge variety of foods and will try anything that is put in front of him. Now when ever I hear bitchy comments about the mum who is feeding packet food to their child and not ‘pureed brocoili that has been steamed using mineral water from the himalayn mountains’ I will cringe. What ever works for you and your little one is the right thing to do!